If you are a parent or a primary carer, it can be overwhelming when one of your children is diagnosed with Autism. There will be a period of acceptance and growth, both for you and the other children in your household.
You may inadvertently overlook siblings as you struggle to cope with the challenges involved in meeting the needs of an autistic child, but it’s essential to balance that time with your other children.
It’s not easy by any means, which is why we thought we’d give you some hints and tips on how to help the siblings of children living with Autism. Read on to learn more.
Emotions are normal
Read this guide if one of your children is on the autism spectrum and you want to support and nurture your other children through this complex and challenging journey. Any siblings will likely be experiencing lots of different feelings. They might be worried, scared, surprised, confused, sad, or even a little angry.
This mix of emotions is entirely normal, and the more you talk openly about how everyone is feeling, the better everything will be.
It’s important to let your other children know that while their sibling may have a diagnosis, they are still just like any other boy or girl; they might just function and process the world differently. Once you have a diagnosis, your family can start working together to ensure you meet everyone’s needs.
Coping with challenging behaviour
Young children appear to be better at coping with their siblings’ challenging behaviour. However, as they begin to approach puberty and become more socially aware, kids can be embarrassed and frustrated by the unwanted attention their brother or sister’s behaviour brings.
Embarrassment is common, so show empathy and consider that they are probably thinking things like:
- Will I get to spend time with mum or dad by myself?
- Do mum and dad still love me?
- Do I have to play with my brother or sister?
- What can we do that they will like?
- How do I explain my brother or sister’s Autism to my friends?
- Why doesn’t my brother or sister have to do jobs and other things around the house like me?
Please take some time to talk through some of these questions to understand their feelings.
Make time
Often a family member with Autism can be time-consuming for everyone in the family. It can be easy to forget to make time for each family member, but we promise that things will run more smoothly once you do.
Help your other children work through some of the feelings they are experiencing by sitting and talking about how they can constructively express these feelings. It’s essential each child feels unique, valued, and loved.
Here are five tips to share with your other children:
- Reassure them they are not alone. Let them know you are there for them and love them.
- Encourage them to be proud of their brother or sister. Talk openly about Autism and be comfortable describing it to others. The more comfortable you are with the topic, the more comfortable they will feel. Normalise talking openly about Autism.
- Manage their expectations and talk about acceptable behaviour. It’s okay to experience a range of emotions but being angry or upset for extended periods is not helpful or constructive. Anger doesn’t change the situation. Talk about ways they can cope, either by talking to you or a professional counsellor. Writing down their feelings in a journal is an excellent way to unload their thoughts.
- Spend time with your other children. It’s okay for them to want your undivided attention. Having a family member with Autism can sometimes be time-consuming and attention-grabbing – make sure your other children feel seen and valued.
- Encourage them to co-play. Providing tools and toys your children can use together will be rewarding. Play allows your children to connect and bond over a joint project – either a game, a puzzle, a sensory toy, a memory game, or just reading a book together. It’s these simple activities that build a strong family bond.
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